Since I last left you it’s been craaaaaaazy! ... So crazy I am laughing just thinking about it! I headed off to NYC for a photo shoot and series of weekend events! Off the bat red flags were popping up. So let me start...lol

Background info: 

1. Those from Washington, DC rarely go into Virginia, it’s a whole different, wierd world and southern mentality. When you cross the Potomac River accents drop into drawls heard straight out of “Gone With The Wind”
2. I travel to NYC to play almost every weekend and usually take the Boltbus, http://www.boltbus.com , It’s the Business Class way to get to NYC. It is $40 round trip, leaves on the hour, has wireless internet and an electric outlet in the head rest in front of you for your laptop and is clean! However, this trip was booked and paid for by those who booked me to DJ. 

So I shut my laptop after signing off from the last entry. With a smile, child like excitement and full DJ gear in tow, I head to the airport. Now I know the US Department of Homeland Security is supposed to protect us, especially after 9-11, ( Which I can appreciate, having almost been crushed by the World Trade Center’s fall!) but there is a whole choreographed dance that has to take place every time you go through a US Airport. 

You have to arrive almost two hours early. Yes, two hours! The two hours are so you can arrive with time enough to get through security checks and the long amusement park snaking lines, just to make the check-in; which, by mandate, has to be an hour before your flight time! Not to mention, you have to strip down and put everything through X-ray, then pass through a metal detector, only to run to your gate so you can get a good number for the boarding pass.

So I go through this choreographed dance, only the steps were changed:-) As a DJ, I never have anything checked in to be put under the plane. It has happened where I check record cases and gear and it ends up in a whole different country, leaving me naked and having to play off of someone else’s stuff. LOL. With this in mind, I switched to digital mixing, which includes only my laptop, small CD Book, a digital mixer, headphones and a smile. All my gear fit into one back pack and I carry another one for personal effects.

Easy breezy.

I get through the roller-coaster size line, pop off my shoes, belt, hat and put all my gear on the X ray machine. Furnishing my Veteran's, ID and letting security know I was an army veteran and have surgical metal prosthetics inside me, as a reminder of my time spent in Iraq, I pass through the metal detector. Beep! Beep! Beep! 

“Sir! Can you please step this way!", says a short but robust Homeland Security Agent, with two agents close behind carrying my stuff.

The agents guide me to the side and question where I am headed, my purpose and when I will return. After going through all my personal stuff they arrive at my DJ gear. 

“What is this!!”, says the officer. “Please set it up and turn it on!”

Apparently electronic gear has to be turned on and demonstrated that it is what you say it is, and not a death ray! I tell them I am DJ and headed to NYC, a DOMESTIC flight, and that I will be back at the end of the weekend. The agents do not bat an eye, and still asked me to set up and demonstrate.

So there I am half naked and playing for people with hands on their pistols. No different then playing a beach party, RIGHT??!!?? Hey, any time I have a chance to convert new fans, I AM DOWN! LOL. Heads start bobbing, feet are tapping, but the constipated expressions on their faces never changed. Just when I had them, I pulled the plug, packed up my gear and kept it moving. I run down the corridor toward my gate only to find the plane was just leaving!!

S**T!

Luckily my arrival time was in the afternoon and I was not due to play until midnight. I whipped out my laptop and reverted to my trusty Boltbus. I hopped in a taxi and headed back into the safety of downtown DC, where the Boltbus departs. I gave the Boltbus driver a $20, stored my stuff in the over head, and settle hoping to doze off. 

NO!!!!!

I was awaken by a heard of fifty-trillion blonde pony tails, the sounds of cell phones going off, the smacking of gum, and a deafening concophany of laughter. It was Northern Virginia’s Girl Scout Troupe #54, who’s average was 14, boarding the Boltbus on their way to see Broadway shows in NYC. NOT MY USUAL EXPERIENCE. What part of this story is usual! I digress. Now I get motion sickness very easily, so usually I cure that by sleeping the whole trip. Between hearing what the hottest new videos were and having girls do the full out choreography right there in the middle of the bus isle, hearing about what Bobby told Christina, who told Kattie, about Courtney and it got back to Courtney, to cell phones going off and people answering them at the top of their voices, there was no sleep.

Sure enough the nausea set in and the wave of muscle spasms from my stomach started upward. I trust myself toward the back of the bus toward the restroom. I handled by business, swished my mouth with a travel size bottle of mouth wash, check myself in the mirror and got ready to return to my seat. Now being that I am almost to meters tall and the girth of a lineman in Rugby, I AM THE SIZE OF THE REST ROOM! Claustrophobia! I needed to get out of there. I go to exit and instead of hearing the familiar clicking of the latch releasing, nothing. I was stuck! I started banging and yelling, but could not me heard over the laughter, cell phone conversation or people having headphones on! I was going at it for fifteen minutes and gave up. With my trusty, Purel hand sanitizer, cause you know Swine Flu is lurking about, I whipped down the small area, put down the toilet seat, and sat. 

I must dosed off, cause the next thing I knew I was trust into the wall in front of me, as the buss came to a halt. The cackle of carnivorous 14 year olds disipated so I began banging on the door again. Soon a nervous looking driver appeared and smiled saying, “I thought you got eaten by the girl scouts.”

I ran from that bus as quickly ass possible through the evening crowd of the bustling NYC streets toward my destination.

The rest of my evening was on the opposite end of the spectrum, as was the rest of the weekend. The events were filled with mostly Eastern Europeans who had such an awesome energy that inspired a song! Can't say I was bored, so I guess I had fun!!!

 ... See for yourself...

Romanian Kiss
Nino Bellemo
Director: A DJ Called Monte
Casa Collective

A DJ Called Monte’s Picks of the Week

For those Nasty Boys:

20 Fingers - Lick It (Jangatha Boot)  

For those with a Grown and Sexy swagger:

Driving - Everything But The Girl ( Bagel Boy Vocal )

Mix of The Week:

Until next time Kiddies,

Make the money, don't let the money make you!

A DJ Called Monte
Casa Collective 

http://www.casacollective.com

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